we'd like to throw him through a wall.
and we know you'd love it too.
Meet Sebastian, London's design fraud.
His portfolio? A maze of overdesigned interfaces that users can't navigate.
While he'll waste your time with endless workshops and useless moodboards, his "accessibility" strategy is making sure everything looks good on the latest iPhone—because who uses anything else, right?
Sebastian's pride and joy? A hyper-complicated multi-brand design system that turns designers into mindless component drag-and-droppers.
The result? Repetitive, boring products that all look suspiciously similar to those free Figma community files.
But don't worry, he'll call it "consistency".
In a world craving innovation, Sebastian and his "agency" deliver cookie-cutter designs wrapped in pretentious jargon, priced at the equivalent of three fully-spec'd Tesla Cybertrucks (of course, that's his favorite vehicle).
Proof that all the artisanal lattes in London can't replace actual creativity and user empathy.
we will
- Give you design output from day one
- Help you define and grow a product strategy and vision
- Communicate asynchronously
- Be genuinely passionate about your project and goals
- Put to work our 50+ years of cumulative experience
we won't
- Run pointless workshops
- Build personas based on zero research
- Waste your time in unnecessary calls
- Wait 6 months to start any actual design work
- Use buzzwords to hide our lack of experience
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